Death on the Nile

Elephantine Island view from the balcony of the Old Cataract

Winston Churchill holidayed here frequently and Agatha Christie was a live-in guest for several months while writing Death on the Nile so you’d think high tea at the famed Old Cataract in Aswan would be a world-class, a five star experience. Unfortunately, the only thing you’d give five stars to is the room rate. Oh, and the view, that’s pretty spectacular. 

This isn’t the first negative experience we’ve had since we set off on FGY but I do try to keep bad reviews to a minimum. After all, every establishment and every worker has the odd off day plus, my idea of good food and great service is obviously subjective, so I try to save this kind feedback for experiences that really fall short of the mark. 

Let’s start with the positives; the location is stunning, right opposite Elephantine Island and the decor is magnificent too. Having said that, there’s zero memorabilia on show from either Churchill or Christie – astonishing given their connection to the place. A first edition in a glass cabinet would have sat nicely in the hotel’s library but there wasn’t a single text by or about them on the shelves, not one. 

That’s the positives out of the way, now to what needs serious attention.

Forgotten Earls and a lesson in premium

First up, you have to pay to enter the hotel even if you’re dining there. I think that’s crass but perhaps that’s just me. Yes, the “entry fee” is deducted from your eventual bill but I have issue with this, just as I did decades ago with paying for nightclub entry. I understand why they do it, to prevent tourists walking in, taking their photo and then just leaving but when you have a reservation it seems a little over the top.

Right, to the tea….

So, the first red flag was the so-called premium tea list: English breakfast, peppermint, green tea, chamomile. Sorry, but that’s not premium, a four tea selection is what you’d find in a basic three star hotel minibar. Not sure how you can call it premium either without Earl Grey on the menu? Second red flag: a tea bag, not a loose leaf in sight. How do you serve tea in fine China with a tea bag flopping from the side? Sorry, but if this is the best you can do, high tea is not your jam. 

Scones are served with strawberry jam and no, honey is not an acceptable alternative.

Speaking of, how do you serve scones – sorry, scone singular – without strawberry jam? In fact, any jam would have done, and no, honey is not an acceptable alternative. The sandwiches were pitiful, and all piled together, same with the sweet selection. Zero care or thought about presentation. And who serves fruit with high tea?? And if you’re going to do that, don’t occupy an entire tier of a three tier tea set, and the biggest one at that. 

At USD50, it’s no surprise that we were feeling more than a bit ripped off. Oh, and the service was mediocre too, and not just because our waiter dropped the first tea set, that could happen to anyone. The paper cover felt a little tacky like, I don’t know, I was being handed dry cleaning. The only thing worthwhile was the Agatha Christie cocktail, it was superb and also happened to match the colour of my lipstick. Yes, I’m clutching now…

Doubt much will change at the Old Cataract, but it’s worth passing on anyway. In the words of dear Ms Christie, “good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that’s no reason not to give it.”

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